Who Can be Changed?

When priests sit down to have a personal, intellectual, or pastoral conversation with one another, we often discuss what we can do to better serve and grow our parishes. Some of these conversations are refreshing and life-giving because we can process and understand the bigger picture, much more than what we can ever grasp or see by ourselves. However, they can be discouraging at times, too, because sometimes good ideas cannot be put into application because of the lack of resources, volunteers, and people’s willingness to participate. This is not even considering bureaucratic or human obstacles yet! While it is wonderful to talk about what we can do to inspire, motivate, and transform our parishioners into more intentional disciples, perhaps it is more important to ask the real questions of who really can or wants to be changed!?!

First, we must recognize that there is much room for change and opportunities to change in the Church, especially those that help the faithful desire, deepen, and live their faith-filled and Christ-centered vocation in intentional, personal, and proactive ways. Many initiatives could be given at the parish level to help nurture, inspire, and invite people to commit to their lives of faith as disciples of Christ. Sadly, we often have allowed ourselves to become stagnant, secluded, and complacent at the parish level and in our personal lives. It is so easy to come to church, attend Mass, put the envelope into the collection basket, and simply check things off the to-do list. Nonetheless, the real life of faith and discipleship is never about going through the typical motions but about truly desiring, yearning, and wanting to live what we have received in personal prayer and communal worship. If we only treat our parish as a set of buildings and places to go on Sunday, we will never find a home there. Furthermore, if our parish fails to make us feel at home and challenges us to grow in our very own lives of faith, it fails to be the living community of disciples who yearn to serve, spend time, and help one another through life’s journey. That failure could simply be caused by a lack of commitment and complacency because too many people want a lot of things, but very few desire to do anything to make their spiritual family a better place.

If the Church is only a place for us to go to check off our to-do items, we have never really been committed to her existence or want to be a part of our spiritual family of faith. Until we see the personal desire to give our very own selves in service of others who are around us, we remain as individuals but never part of the family. As with any organization or group that consists of and depends on members, it is important that each person carries the load and helps the group to grow instead of being labeled and accounted for by names only. This phenomenon of many fraternal organizations losing membership left and right (and at an alarming rate) tells us that our current younger people do not want to belong to something that would require much commitment or investment of time. They would rather spend time behind the screen or at home instead of going beyond themselves to volunteer, serve, or give others the gift of loving service. One can see how dangerous and slippery this path can be, especially how it is misleading our future generations. How sad and desperate it must have been when we even see government-based advertisement messages trying to encourage volunteerism and the basic act of giving back to the community! In a day and age of consumerism and immediate gratification, we want something fast, rewarding, or that gives a quick “return on investment” of time and effort instead of something that requires a personal commitment that might be challenging, sacrificial, and life-long.

The short answer to the question posed by this reflection is complicated… Even though I believe all can be changed, but not everyone is willing to change! Why? In order for change to be genuine, it has to be personal. For change to be life-giving and long-term, it has to be willed and committed to give one’s self totally and completely. No one can be changed, even if the Almighty gives every sign and outpours every kind of grace unless he or she opens up his or her heart to receive and allow His love to transform deep from within. Nevertheless, every one of us can seek and be the change if we are humble, willing, and committed to the long, challenging, and rewarding journey of faith. Change begins with us and no one else! If we are not willing to change ourselves, nothing will really change deep inside, only something that is fake or unreal as to put on a show, spectacle, or façade for others to see.

In a related manner, I tend to hear this question a lot: “Father, will God forgive the Devil if he repents and changes his life?” I am not a systematic or dogmatic theologian, but I would dare to say yes! Unfortunately, that is not the case. We never see the Devil repented in any way throughout scriptural, human, and salvation histories. He continued to be arrogant, filled with pride and pitiful self-centeredness that he never really repented or sought to genuinely serve God. Even though he has to obey God because He is still a finite creature, especially when he is commanded, His disobedience runs deep that He never willed to love and serve Him. That is why he keeps trying to fill our minds with lies, manipulations, errors, and falsities to make us seek, desire, and only serve ourselves instead of the Almighty, who created us out of love and willed that we love and be loved. Since the pitiful creature cannot love anything or no one than himself, he is stuck in the hell that he has created for himself, his minions, and anyone who loves themselves more than God and what is commanded of us by the truth.

Remember that our Creator did not create Hell! He willed that we spend eternal and everlasting life with Him. Nonetheless, love cannot be forced, so Hell was created when the Devil and his minions chose to rebel and wanted to live a life serving themselves instead of God. People often ask why the Almighty can allow Hell if He is loving!?! The answer lies right within the word “love” itself. Think about it! Someone who truly loves the other cannot force love for eternity. Therefore, God cannot force us to love and be with Him for eternity if we do not love Him or personally choose to not be with Him.

True love needs to embrace the possibility of rejection, even if it is for eternity. True love really hurts because it respects freedom and its choices! Hence, we need to remember that God really loves us, but we, too, have to choose to love and respond to His love by following His commandments, walking in His truth, and being willing to change our lives according to what He has taught us. If we cannot do this, we will only act like one on the outside, but we have never really loved and given ourselves to what is truly personal, intimate, genuine, dear, and deep from within. Therefore, to love is to be willing to change for the better, even if it hurts, facing the possibility of rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. Without a doubt, the Lord Jesus Christ has personally taught us what it means to love even when it hurts so much!

We can set out to change other people and the whole world, but it is very hard to change our very own selves because it takes a lot of humility, trust, vulnerability, courage, and perseverance. The hardest but most rewarding journey is of self-discovery. The hardest person to change is our own! Nonetheless, that is what the life of discipleship requires of us, to let go and conform our lives to the very example of sacrificial, self-donating, and humble gift of love like our Lord Jesus Christ. We have to will to love and choose to do what is right even when it gets hard and challenging. We continue to desire a life of service and self-giving love by choosing the good of others and the greater good of all before our very own hedonistic and egoistical particular goods.

We can develop different programs to inspire and encourage more participation at the parish level; however, we must not forget that our greatest resource and asset is not more of this or that. It is the people who are willing to make the parish their home. We can only create opportunities, but it is up to the very people who are the essential parts of the parish community to choose to come together to make it their home. A society or a parish can only function when people expect others to provide desirable services to them but choose to give themselves in service to one another. If we recognize that the greatest treasure that we can receive and offer is the very gift of ourselves, our community will be so rich, blessed, and prosperous because we are able to value, embrace, and respect one another as gifts and treasures. While it is very easy to demand, expect, and want to be served, have what we want, or be given what we desire in a parish community; nonetheless, we must remind ourselves that we are not simply a business to please consumers at all costs. We are a family of faith!

Hence, in a family, things are not always as we like, or people act as we would have wanted. Life is messy at times, and we can hurt each other even with the best intentions. Nonetheless, we have to really see in one another that we are truly gifts to be given and received, treasured, embraced, and valued so that our spiritual family can mature, grow, and deepen its love for God through our very own love of our brothers and sisters. Without looking, understanding, and respecting the humanity and gift of each and every member of our faith community, we remain bystanders and visitors who have no real home. If this is the case, the Church will die in places where people only come to check and go but never made their parish communities their very own homes and essential parts of life. We grow and become rich when we recognize the invaluable gift and treasure of one another. We are motivated to conform our lives to Christ and change to become more patient, loving, understanding, and kind toward our neighbors if we recognize that we truly have something to offer to serve and love others.

Truly, everyone can be changed if they are willing to open themselves up to grow, mature, and deepen their love through a committed and personal self-giving life of humble, genuine, transparent, merciful, and compassionate life of service. We give and receive life from one another because God has put us in one another’s lives as gifts and treasures to behold, embrace, respect, and value. No one can be changed if they close themselves up to others, but everyone can be changed if they are willing to be loved by God and choose to love others through the selfless, sacrificial, personal, and intimate gift of self to others. Indeed, how wonderful it would be if we truly enrich one another through the gift of self-giving service to those around us, for each of us is truly an invaluable treasure of His love for the Church and the world at large!