Working Through Our Impatience

We all struggle with being patient, especially when we do not have an answer, are not in control, or do not know what is happening around us. We get impatient when we are out of our comfort zone and do not know how to handle or respond to whatever awaits us. We get impatient when something is imposed upon us, and we get hurt and do not know what to do or how to resolve the situation. We get impatient when we come to prayer, asking for a solution or help, but God does not seem to answer our petitions.

Simply put, we all tend to struggle with how to truly be patient and trust in God, especially to choose to grow, mature, and deepen our love for Him while we are in the “waiting” process and period of life where we are called to simply stay in the storm with Him. It is ironically funny that the good Lord never took anyone’s problems right away when they asked Him to heal them. He often desired their faith and unconditional trust in Him before healing happened. At times, too, He allowed them to go through the trials and be in the storms of life before He acted. This is something we do not like to see or hear when life gets hard, but it is important to remember that He listens, knows, and will act in His providential love, and we have to be patient in waiting for Him… and that, is indeed, very hard.

Nothing of quality and substance can be built within a day or short time. Nothing can grow to full potential and fruition within a limited, humanistic expectation, demand, and timeframe. We are not some machines that are based and programmed to work and operate based on set formulas. We are holistic beings that are complex, organic, and messy at times, too. Different things grow at different rates, seasons, and times, and so does each of us uniquely according to our capacity. Nonetheless, our normal absorption and growth potentials are oftentimes dependent and affected by external factors, relationships, and matters, as well as internal struggles, trials, and hardships. Considering all of these complicated factors, we have to humbly accept that we have to be patient with ourselves and others, for not everyone — including our own self — can meet our own harsh and unrealistic expectations and demands at times.

We tend to be impatient by nature, and when being challenged and tested, that impatience is intensified and fed by our egocentric desire to know and be in control. We really hate losing balance, being plucked out of our comfort zone, and not having things our way… but think about this fact… if we have always been where we are most in control, would we ever have the opportunity to grow and mature? We often become complacent when we are at our comfort level. While I am not saying that life has to be trying and hard at all times, we can all agree that it is messy and we do not always get what we want, but that does not mean that it is not worth living and without purpose. As a matter of fact, the imperfections that exist within life remind us that we are actually living in a world that is much bigger than us and our standards, likes, expectations, or demands. This reality reminds us that we do not possess absolute control, nor does the world evolve around us, for we are finite, limited, and human. We are all parts of this greater reality; therefore, we need to understand, find, and be content with our places within it. No matter how it could be or seem to be, we are parts of the greater existence and reality, no matter how dark, gloomy, and stormy it could be at times because we can never have nice sunny weather all the time.

Just like the atmosphere and our weather change due to the different elements, our own particular lives can get messy because of many unknown factors and elements. While it might seem evil and hard to bear when the storms hit, we get hurt and lose what is dear to us because of them; they are sometimes simply parts of the greater scheme of life. Therefore, when we get hurt by others, even when we do our best and live with the best intentions, we are reminded that relationships are messy and imperfect because none of us are perfect. As a matter of fact, we are all broken and hurt, and we can hurt one another even with the best willingness and intentions. Our different personalities, priorities, values, outlooks, and likings come into play when we interact with one another, and that could often create the perfect storm.

Therefore, it is important not to lose heart and become resentful or bitter right away. The worst thing we can do is to push people away and isolate ourselves when we get hurt, when things fail, or we do not get what we want! On the contrary, when we push people away, we oftentimes become more destructive and endangering ourselves and others because misery loves company. In times of hardship, let us remember to be humble enough to ask for help and courageous enough to receive assistance when needed. While isolating ourselves seems natural and pushing people away seems easy when we are hurt, we need to be humble and real with ourselves by accepting the necessary help providentially provided by His supernatural grace. We cannot go through life alone, no matter how hard we try or how tough we think we might be; therefore, it is important to ask for help and to receive help along the way.

Too many times, we have rejected God‘s loving care, but at the same time, resentfully asking why He is not present when we are actually the ones who pushed others away! In His subtle and gentle way, He oftentimes uses small signs in other people and circumstances to show us His loving presence. Still, we tend to push them away because we do what is immediately and humanly easy, reactive, convenient, or natural for us. It takes a lot of humble willingness to expand our horizons and see how He tries to care for and love us through other people and factors in life. Hence, I pray that once we have recognized that reality, we can become humble and willing to receive help, assistance, and support from others.

As a matter of fact, those who are struggling with some type of substance dependency, addiction, or relationship problems tend to be the ones who lose hope, become angry, push others away, lock themselves up in their own hellish existence, and fill the empty void with what is destroying them deep from within. Therefore, it is important to open up and be patient and gentle with ourselves when we embark on recovery. There will be hard times when we relapse, fail, want to give up, or find it so hard to continue, but keep pushing forward. Even if we fail, do not give up hope and let the despair eat us alive! It is important at those moments to trust in the grace of God, the process, and the support around us to stand up and walk again. Just remember, patience is a virtue that empowers us for a lifelong journey of supernatural and grace-filled life of conversion, transformation, and discipleship.

No one can be the worst enemy than our very own selves at times! We often doubt, dismiss, or ignore our true potential in God. We do not want to overcome our created, selfish, despair-filled, or hedonistic ways of life to fill the empty void of nothingness and hopelessness. We act as our own judge and accuser at times, and the Devil and his minions feed on that because they really do not want us to change and be better! They make us impatiently react, despair, and give up because they tell us that we are doing fine and do not have to change our lives at first, but then attack us by telling us that we are not good enough, we cannot change, we are not loved, God is not real, does not care for us, or have abandoned us. The Devil and his minions are simply liars, manipulators, and accusers who feed on our egocentric impatience, distrust, and hopelessness. Therefore, do not give up and give in just yet, but choose the supernatural route to trust, change, embrace, and continue with His loving grace!

We need to remember how the evil ones attack us and feed on our struggles, hardships, weaknesses, and despairing moments. They are simply cowardly beings that study us, our repeated patterns, and apparent weaknesses to attack us when we are most vulnerable and prone to succumb to easy takedowns. Thus, to defend ourselves against the evil spirits and their cheap attacks, we need to take the time to learn, understand, and fortify our spiritual fortress. It will require us to know, be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, and especially be genuine with ourselves to put red flags along the way so we know when to slow down, step back, and ask for help when they are triggered before we quickly go down the destructive rabbit hole. Furthermore, it will also require that we seek external help from others who care for us, too! Since we all have our own blind spots, we need people who love us more than ourselves to hold the mirror and help us see what is missing or needs to be done. It is important to check in with them regularly and allow ourselves to be held accountable. In a spiritual battle against the messiness of this world and the cheap attacks of the evil ones who are prowling and waiting for us to fall, we have to be courageous, transparent, vulnerable, honest, genuine, and patient with ourselves.

There is no shame in accepting our limitations and failures. There is no shame in accepting what hurts us and embracing our imperfections. There is no shame in depending on others to help us along the way, for we cannot see things or help ourselves alone! True humility consists of accepting God‘s grace to strengthen us, allowing us to open up to others to receive, be vulnerable, genuine, and transparent in accepting help. The road to recovery, conversion, and transformation is not a quick or short one! Please remember that we are all pilgrims on the journey, each with his or her own starting points as well as breaking points; therefore, it is important to support and encourage so they can stand up and walk again. Sometimes, we will be impatient and hard on ourselves, hence, hard on others, too, but it is important to be humble, gentle, and persevering with the truth. Let us be tenacious against the evil forces and stand firm in withstanding the messy and hurtful storms of this world. We are works in progress, but with the grace of God, we shall overcome, stand up, and continue walking our journey toward Him!