Friends and Enemies

Who is a friend? Who is an enemy? In an agenda-driven world, these two words have become politicized to be used for propaganda or for some types of attractive, short-lived, or shallow “revolutions” because I believe there are too many of us using the words without really understanding or meaning what they really entail. Politicians can call everyone friends, but they have no problem attacking others when it comes time to get what they want! In a world where everyone is so fixated on winning friends, followers, likes, or gaining an audience and popularity, we have these so-called misnomers and names, but we lack true friendship. In a world where we are quick to judge and speak our minds with quick strokes of the keyboard, may I dare to ask if we genuinely treat others as friends or if we only use them for our our own purposes and list them as enemies when they no longer share our viewpoints?

I dare to ask the question that in a day and age where we often misunderstand each other and tend to judge “friendship” by shallow likings, feelings, sentiments, viewpoints, or humanistic standards, friendship, at least for me, is nothing but a fragile, meaningless, and superficial number, quantity, or definition. I have seen people who have been nice to me just because they think I share some kind of theological or political alignment with them. However, once I try to pervade what the Sacred Scriptures and Catholic Church try to teach, they begin to accuse me of not being faithful or with other labels that they like to invent. For me, friendship is much more than a common association or acquaintanceship of similarities and likings. Perhaps we have lost what it means to be friends because we do not cherish friendship as it should be! Perhaps we have lost what it means to will the good of the other side, even when we disagree or or do not share common matters, because our world has made it so easy to quantify likes, followers, views, and friends that we only tend to treat and use each other for some types of benefits.

As you can tell from the feature picture, friendship can flourish in unique and different ways. A few years back, I watched a movie on Netflix named The Best of Enemies. Without telling you much about it (because I would like you to watch it, too), it highlights two characters from different backgrounds. They did not like each other at first because one belonged to the Ku Klux Klan and the other was a vocal human rights advocate. They butt-headed with one another. Some unkind actions, words, doubts, and accusations were thrown at each other. Nonetheless, in the midst of many differences and oppositions, they found friendship in the most unique of situations and circumstances.

Kindness, respect, and love go a long way! I have seen this in my own life, too, and I can confirm that we cannot and will not win hearts for God with our own personal, ideological, revolutionary, political, or agenda-driven righteousness. We can only choose to love and let that love radiate God in our very own words and actions… and that genuine love and kindness will change hearts.

Our faith teaches us that we are each created by the love of God. He willed and formed us with His love. Furthermore, God is not just some random or ambiguous deity. He is the God of love, for within Himself exists the communion of love — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are loved, meant, and called to love because our Creator God is love! The inner-Trinitarian communion of Lover, Beloved, and Love reminds us of the eternal, everlasting, and powerful love that gives life to all living things. Unlike other mythologies where one is told that humans were created as a mistake, through a conflict, in a negative light, or as an afterthought by the gods, our Christian faith teaches us that the life-giving love of the Trinity within Himself outpours and gives life to all things, especially to us as the pinnacle of His creation.  Therefore, as human beings created in His image and likeness, we are called to reflect the love of God to all, especially among ourselves, as we nurture the loving communion among us by giving ourselves.

That is why everyone ends up unhappy and frustrated without true respect, care, and compassion. Genuine gifts of self cannot be given and received wholeheartedly. Without intimate and loving dialogue, everyone remains locked behind their own pitiful selves, bitter, resentful, and willing to hurt others. And this is where I believe we failed in the post-modern world! All want love and to be loved, yet not many are willing to be true, genuine, and vulnerable with one another because many are scared of being used. That is why we simply talk much about love, but at the end of the day, we simply “talk the talk” while letting ourselves be caught in the game of manipulation. It is too easy to use or manipulate others to get what we want or even to give the excuse of protecting ourselves from getting hurt. Yet, those things all end up being destructive and divisive to human relationships, even at the basic level, because we can no longer trust one another. Somewhere along the way, too many of us have lost the fundamental foundation to will the good of the other! Hence, once that is lost, everything and everyone simply becomes a chess piece and is objectified or manipulated for our personal good. Once we lose the desire to will and desire the good of the other person and the greater good of all, even if it means sacrificing ourselves, we lock ourselves behind our own fears and come to each other only with pseudo-relationships based on particular goals or benefits.

Once we stop taking risks in order to will the good of the other person, the relationship is fake and only acts as a perverted codependency that is based on a particular good, goal, or objectification. When there is no desire to be true, to be genuine, and to be vulnerable with one another, our moral compass will be out of touch and misguided, and we end up lost with our own self-created yet conflicted interests and goods because we do not know what we really want. Many people will end up frustrated and angry, yet they project or transfer their anger and frustration to other things or people. Many people will talk much about love and lofty ideals, yet they simply remain silent since no one is willing to dare to walk the talk! Many people will talk and give ideas on how to improve things, but they only end up hearing themselves because no one else really believes, listens, or cares enough to take risks to love. At the end of the day, we will only end up talking at each other when we get frustrated or to each other get something done, but no one can speak with one another because no one is willing to spend time, care, truly listen, give empathy, desire, and will to give the gift of themselves.

Christian charity and its love should move us to address poverty with real compassion, patience, and commitment. Hence, we are not just talking about poverty in the materialistic sense but also poverty in the moral and emotional sense. Our charity motivates us to see beyond the moral destitution and hopelessness that cause many people to be enslaved by addictive behaviors and practices like alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, meaningless sexual exchanges, or the constant wandering in a life of vice. So many people have lost hope and no longer see a deeper meaning in life. Hence, it has become easier to live in the present moment with false hedonistic happiness that will ultimately cause many to be isolated, emotionally unstable, and frail, enslaved by addictive vices and sins. Therefore, in the world of half-lies, we are called to go out to meet the forgotten, downtrodden, and hopeless ones who are suffering but are too scared to let go of their codependent lifestyle to let them know the true liberation and freedom found in Christ Jesus. We are called to give more than false tolerance, detached pity, and shallow compassion that sound nice but leave people sinking and dying in their own (false) righteous and self-centered miseries!

Furthermore, true Christian charity moves us beyond political polarities, divisiveness, extremism, and self-righteousness. We are reminded that we are first of God, then of our society. We are called to let the light of truth define our politics and government instead of bringing lesser humanistic and socialistic understanding into our lives of faith by allowing them to dictate and define us as someone or something different than who we truly are — children of God! It is never too late to find the time to pray, reflect, and discern what we can do better to truly care, listen, give, nurture, and respect one another to strengthen, deepen, and seek the divine presence in our relationships with others. We can always choose to give the greatest gift of all, which is the gift of our own vulnerability as we choose to care, be genuine, loving, and committed to letting the love of God be enlivened through us and in every one of our encounters with others. Let us truly desire and seek to build up the loving sense of communion among ourselves.

My brothers and sisters, the Lord Jesus Christ reminded us that our works are seen and judged by the fruits that they will bear. (cf. Matthew 7:15-20) Therefore, let us work and desire to nurture everything in our lives so they will bear the lasting fruits of love. Instead of doubting others and isolating ourselves because we are scared of getting hurt, we can choose to love and care for those who are around us, like the Lord, by being with the people who are around Him. Instead of manipulating other people to get what we want, we can choose to be genuine and give the gift of ourselves totally and completely to all. We can all choose to retribute or to rise above the self-centered reactions that naturally come when things do not go our way. We can choose to react to what is given to us with the same (or greater) amount of force or vengeance, or we can choose to respectfully pray about how to respond with the same attitude and mind of Christ.