Differences.
They exist naturally, humanly, socially, and even in the Church, too. Our brains have been wired to identify both similarities and differences and a lot of times, we tend to focus on the differences because they stand out and irk us. As creatures of comfort, we do not like to deal with differences. We like things to be as we want them, according to our ways of life, thoughts, likes, expectations, and demands. However, when we only want things our way, we remain locked up in our own self-made, egocentric kingdom, ghetto, barrio, and comfort zone.
It is so easy to lock ourselves within our own self-centered standards. It is so easy to use terms and definitions to distinguish ourselves from the people who seem to be different than us. It is so easy to block and push people away because they are different than us. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, we have gone nowhere except locked up within our own self-created walls, barriers, and isolation zones. In doing so, we tend to become more frustrated, resentful, and angry because no one seems to fit our pitiful criteria.
Over and over again, the Lord and His apostles warned us of being rotted away by greed, jealousy, and sinfulness. He even used the term “Gehenna” so His audience can relate and understand what it means to be eaten alive by worms, maggots, and destructive matters of this world. He used the place where people dump their trash, garbage, and unwanted stuff. Imagine the pungent and off-putting smells! Everyone in the audience knew that place and they could relate to the experience… and this is what the good Teacher wants to teach us, His disciples, too.
If we remain locked in and only want things our way, we have done nothing except expect people to meet our demands and expectations. If we only concern ourselves with building up treasures and comforts of this world, we have done nothing more than stay in our own kingdom and stand on our own pedestal to judge others according to our egocentric standards and criteria. If we do not die to ourselves, we can never live in Christ Jesus. If we do not have life in Him, we might look presentable and in control on the outside, but our souls will rot from within because the things of this world will steal and rob us of the true joy, hope, and love that can only be received in Him and through His loving grace. We can see this in people who seem to have it all — successful, powerful, prestigious, desirable, and objects of envy — but are not really joyful deep from within. The things of this world slowly kill us because they destroy the Christ-life within us, making us faithless, hopeless, and loveless because we do not know how to truly love beyond ourselves, trust even when it is hard, and persevere when things seem to fall apart.
The focus on differences seems so natural because this way of thinking has been so ingrained within our human nature that we see sad results within the world and salvation histories, too. The hatred, condemnation, and cruelty that were caused by division were inflicted upon the Lord, and it even happened amongst His very own disciples and early Christians as well. Even though they followed Jesus, jealousy, divisions, discrimination, doubts, and comparisons existed among His own disciples. As a matter of fact, many of the apostolic epistles were written to reaffirm the genuine faith as well as to exhort the faithful to avoid unnecessary divisions that were caused by humanistic factors and desires.
Differences in education, cultures, classes, and ways of life caused a lot of prejudices, divisions, and isolations in the early Church. Sadly, it continues to even this day! We often do it with the best of intentions, too. We like to create our own little clubhouses of like-minded people. We only welcome those deemed similar to us but push away those not like us. Many times, in reaction to the wrong actions given by others, the people who get discriminated against create their own barrio and ghetto and choose to remain behind them, too. At the end of the day, we have done nothing except create and remain in our own little cliques, clubhouses, ghettos, and barrios of like-minded people. If that is the case, we must ask ourselves the real question… What have we done to build and further the Kingdom of God within our midst?!?
If we remain as we are, whether in our own comfort zones or as reactionary to what has been done to us, are we really living what Christ Jesus has called us to do? Are we humanly reacting or responding with grace? Are we willing to rise above or remain the same or similar level of reactions? It is hard but, in order to overcome differences and its natural reactionary outcomes of discriminations and divisions, I would like to recommend another “D” word. And, that is, discernment!
While it seems so natural to return an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, we are called to seek the presence of the Lord and His grace at work. We are called to rise above the immediate and typical reactions to discern what He wants us to do so as to respond with loving grace. The discernment of spirits is so important and crucial because the voices of the evil spirits want to push us to react and return what is humanly easy or comfortable for us. Our differences seem to be destructive, divisive, and off-putting at times, but when we try to slow things down, take a step back, reflect, pray, and discern the will of God. His loving presence might not be easily be seen and recognized in the midst of many challenges, but we can always find the time to step back to see the learning opportunities even in the midst of many creative tensions and differences.
It is easy to say that we love God until other people, personalities, viewpoints, and differences come into the picture. Nonetheless, this is where true holiness and sanctification can be sought and enlivened! When we are dealing with the differences that exist in life, society, and personalities, we can learn to become more patient and trusting and let go of what is comfortable for us in order to truly live out the virtues of faith, hope, and love! Charity is hard to put into practice when things are challenging, but it gets complimented by faith and hope, reminding us to seek things that are above and that He is present with us even when we are myopically zoned in with negativities, cynicism, and perhaps hopelessness, too.
We take the time to really seek the Lord and His will when everything sounds so enticing, nice, “good,” beneficial, righteous, or appealing. As a matter of fact, our lives are often filled with tough decisions, trying to understand and figure out what is truly good in the sea of many seem-to-be goods. That is why I like to spend the time to sit down and talk with young couples who are preparing for the Sacrament of Matrimony.
Oftentimes, they tend to think that differences are not good. They try hard to make things perfect, especially when our society has told them to put a perfect, appealing, and dreamy facade so everything looks nice. They often think that only the compatible points are good and that the differences should be avoided at all costs! Nonetheless, if we only like or love those who are like-minded, we simply like people who are like us! How pitiful and egocentric it would be if we only like ourselves and the things that are appealingly good for us.
At first glance, differences stand out and are off-putting at times. Nonetheless, if we step back and take the time to learn and grow from those differences, we will see that our differences complement each other because we are all uniquely different. Just like looking at a field of flowers, the differences in the shapes, sizes, colors, and types make it more beautiful and outstandingly complementary. Therefore, we can learn to overcome our differences if we all learn to step back to look, learn, grow, and integrate one another’s uniqueness. If we just step back, be open, and willingly seek His presence, we will be able to individually and communally discern His will for us. Even when it gets challenging, we can still learn to grow to love one another by allowing ourselves to be sanctified, stretched, and conformed by His loving providence.
Indeed, it is not easy to live with differences. It is not easy to allow ourselves to spiritually grow and mature in dealing with different people and their challenges. These differences can become divisive at times, but they can become opportunities to seek God‘s loving will and teaching moments if we are willing to discern all things to embrace the standards of Christ. It is not easy at all, but it is necessary and worthwhile! If we are not willing to rise above our likings and personal comforts, society will fail and cease to exist because it can only be possible when each and everyone is willing to carry the weight, work with one another, and willing to make sacrifices for the greater and ultimate good.
I Thirst (John 19:28) with Father Khoi 