In one of his sermons, St. Peter Chrysologus once said, “It is intolerable for love not to see the object of its longing. That is why whatever reward they merited was nothing to the saints if they could not see the Lord. A love that desires to see God may not have reasonableness on its side, but it is the evidence of filial love.” Hence, the saint was able to capture in a few lines why the saints were so passionately in love with God, even though many people looked at them as being foolish.
I believe too many people focus on the things that do not really matter in our ordinary and spiritual lives. And while we can spend a lot arguing about the theological, political, or ideological details and perspectives, not many people are willing to take the time to conform their lives to seek and live in the will of God. As a matter of fact, we love to talk, discuss, argue, or blame one another on things that seem to be “important” but do not impact or matter for our very own life of discipleship, conversion, and spiritual journey. If we can spend useless time arguing about our differences and perspectives on things, how much time have we spent in contemplative prayer and selfless service of our neighbors?
When we lack the love of God within us, we tend to allow our ego to be in control and guide our thoughts, words, and actions. Nonetheless, when we seek, understand, and live in the love that He has for us, our egocentric reservations and fears are removed and replaced with mutual love, respect, and forgiveness so we can accompany, preserve, and participate in the shared labor that enriches the Lord’s vineyards. It is love that lifts us up from our own humanistic ruckus and fears to live a life of genuine worship and service.
God, throughout salvation history, called the ones He chose out of their own comfort zone and to grow where He led them. Even though they each had their own reservations, they confronted their fears and embraced the mission given to them. There were times they had to wrestle with the Lord and His will for them, but they were not afraid of the One who was faithful to them, even when they were conflicted within themselves and struggled to make sense out of life. His love invited them to be free from the lies, manipulations, and enslavement to matters of this world so they can become genuine testimonies and witnesses that lead others to true freedom as well.
The Almighty raised up many hopeless people, preserved His faithful from the corruptions of the world, and forgave them when they failed. There were times when the biblical characters, as well as the saints, struggled to find peace in the midst of their hardships and sufferings. God gave them the necessary grace to endure the calamities and consulted them with true hope for the future. He never took their trials and hardships away, but led them through everything with divine strength. He walked with those whom He chose in foreign, dangerous, and challenging lands, and with His supernatural grace, taught them to love their persecutors and accusers rather than to be locked up by resentment, fear, or defensive measures.
Even though we are still wounded by our sinfulness and weaknesses, we are filled with His sufficient grace to overcome our woundedness in order to rise above our failures and shortcomings. This, of course, takes a lot of humility, prayer, attentiveness, and ability to contemplate, reflect, and discern the valuable life and spiritual lessons He has given us, even at times when things do not go our ways or when we failed to really give him our genuine best, transparent humility, and grateful heart. When love becomes our true motivation and intention, we will be able to rise above our very own self-centered concerns with what will be, ought to be, or what can be according to our limited understanding. The saints taught us that true love for the Lord motivates us to overcome all obstacles, hindrances, and hardships in order to persevere and remain with Him.
Of course, there will be days that we will question, doubt, and want to give up because life gets too messy, challenging, and hard to endure. However, if we fix our eyes on Him, we will find an unexplainable strength to hold on and give our all to the One who has our heart. At times, our narrowed vision will fail to apprehend God, but how can the Creator of the whole universe be understood when the whole world cannot contain Him!?! At times, we will want to give up and walk away, but we still stay because this flame of divine love enkindled our hearts and overtook every fiber of our being.
We see this in the very lives of our Savior Jesus Christ and of the Blessed Virgin Mary. His obedience on the Cross, to embrace all the shame, misunderstanding, pains, and sufferings inflicted upon Him by others, reversed the disobedience of Adam and Eve, who wanted to be like God in their punitive ways. Mary, too, believed and remained faithful to God throughout her whole life, even when it got very hard. To truly love and believe in His goodness and love for us, especially when things are falling apart, is very hard and challenging. The evil one will come in to lie, manipulate the situation, and tell us that we are alone, no one cares about us, and God has abandoned us. Nonetheless, those are the moments when we choose to remain faithful, abide with Him, and continue to live what He has called us to be instead of letting ourselves lose focus.
The life of discipleship consists of a delicate balance between passion and commitment, eros and agape in both of their basic, substantial, and fundamental understanding. There will be times when we need to let our passion ignite and motivate us to feel His loving presence in a real and personal way. Nonetheless, there will also be times when we have to personally choose to will to love even though it makes no sentimental, emotional, humanistic, or seem-to-be natural sense. The act of the will and our passion interplay and help us to find different ways to love God in a personal way as we are able!
There will be sunny as well as stormy days. There will be good weather as well as rough moments. There will be times of elation as well as times of little to nothing to offer. There will be mountains as well as valleys. Nonetheless, life changes, and it has its own different seasons. Nonetheless, to have true faith, hope, and love requires us to truly be focused on the Lord, longing for Him, seeking His presence, and continuing to abide with him when it gets hard.
That is why the spiritual life is hard. Hence, if we really read the saints’ writings, autobiographies, and testimonies of their own spiritual journeys, we would definitely see the struggles they had to endure. None of them were perfect or lived without their own struggles and challenges! Nevertheless, they all struggled to love God and to choose Him above all else. They all had their moments of doubts, weaknesses, and failures, but they stayed. For us, too, we just have to remember that it is important to choose to love and keep on willing to love even when it gets hard. Truly, love is not just an emotion, feeling, or passing thought; it is a personal, intimate, and hard decision to make at times, too. Therefore, do not be afraid to love and remain in love!
As we close this five-part series on spiritual growth and maturity, I would like to leave you a quote from Fr. Pedro Arupe, SJ, who was once the Superior General of the Society of Jesus, for you to reflect, pray, discern, and will to choose to love God:
“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”
May the Lord bless you and keep you. I hope this series helps you in a small way with your spiritual journey. May you and I recognize His love for us, even in the challenging moments of life. Please pray for me as I am for you, as we seek spiritual maturity and grow in our own particular faith journey.
(Part 5 of 5)
I Thirst (John 19:28) with Father Khoi 