When asked about the definition of joy, St. Thomas Aquinas answered that joy is the effect of charity. (cf Summa Theologica) Indeed, true joy is not merely an emotional or sentimental matter, but a personal desire to choose kindness, service, and love. Shallow “joy” or “happiness” is fleeting, temporary, and short-lived because it is easily moved, reactionary, and agitated by matters of this world. When we judge and allow appealing or apparent things to motivate, define, dictate, or control us, we will forever be negatively resentful, bitter, frustrated, and at times, angry, too. Nonetheless, if we choose to live in the joy of the Lord and allow that to be enlivened in our very own lives with true charity and kindness, nothing or no one in this world can ever steal what belongs to the One who loves us.
Charity, in its truest understanding and purest sense, is love, for it derives from the Latin root word “Caritas.” We do not need money, power, prestige, influence, or any worldly standards and values to practice true charity. As a matter of fact, secular or humanistic charitable works can be self-serving and fictitious. As long as we are genuine, honest, sincere, and grateful for our loving acts of charity, we will give other people the greatest gifts of our very own self.
Just like charity, joy has to be desired and will at times. We can only be joyful in the Lord when we choose to open ourselves to seek, love, and live in His will for us. There will be days when we will not be happy, frustrated, and agitated by the things of this world, but we must not lose joy in the One who loves and cares for us beyond what we can see or understand at the moment. That was why in his letter to the Philippians, St. Paul told them to rejoice in the Lord always! (cf. 4:4-7) As a matter of fact, he not only told them to rejoice one time but twice so that their charity and kindness might be known to all.
He taught them, as well as us, to recognize that the Lord is near to us, even in times of trial and hardship. Our kindness needs to be enlivened and practiced when it gets hard because it is the most personal, real, and grace-filled way to truly be Christians. Just like the Philippian community, we will be tried, tested, and have our struggles, and this world and its messiness will try to steal away our joy. But, we must not give up or give in to its deceptive promises by choosing to practice joy through personal acts of kindness and prayer.
The Apostle taught us to continue to pray, trust in Him, ask God for His grace in our times of need, and be thankful for what we have. When we continue to fix our eyes and focus on Him, we will be able to find that deep peace that surpasses all understanding. Only when we rest in the peace of the Lord can we continue to choose to be joyful, hopeful, prayerful, and charitable because it is His love that will guard our hearts and minds from the lies, manipulations, and toxicity of this world.
Since words and actions are the extensions of our soul, charity allows our true intentions and desires to be manifested, enlivened, and practiced in a personal and loving way. When we genuinely practice compassion, mercy, love, and care for one another, we choose to be sincere in how we choose to share the gifts that God has given us. From a sincere heart and attitude, we put into practice selfless and humble gratitude for what the Almighty has endowed and given to us, not just to serve ourselves but to be multiplied and shared with others.
At the time when I was writing this reflection, I was given a hard opportunity to be kind to someone whom I offered to help. Even though this person was a sweet old lady, and I was trying to help carry some heavy furniture for her, she was very meticulous about small matters. She was so worried about her furniture being scratched or ruined if I dropped it or mishandled it! To be honest, I was somewhat internally irritated, agitated, and frustrated, but I kept praying to the good Lord that He would not let me snap at her. I kept praying that I would be helpful and kind to her instead of being unchristian if I lost control of myself.
At times, too, we can be so busy, preoccupied, or locked up in our own little world that we become myopically blind to our very own neighbors. While it is easy to be in a constant moving or pitiful mindset, thinking that we deserve more or have to work hard for what we never had, while others have it easier than us, this mentality creates a resentful and selfish hell that we have created by our very own selves. If we do not see the wider picture and deeper joy of what it means to be blessed, provided, and given for our daily needs by the Almighty, we will always be shallowly, emptily, frustratingly, or resentfully jealous, envious, or ignoring others because we have become so self-centered and preoccupied within our own self-created hell.
I am not here to say that life will be perfect if we believe and trust in God totally and completely. I am not here to tell you that we will be happy all the time! However, I am here to assure you that we can all do our part to seek joy by choosing to be loving, charitable, and kind to others with what we have received in and through our very own lives of prayer. It will not be easy, and there will be a lot of temptations, trials, and hardships. It will seem hard to find the real reason to love, trust, and choose to give ourselves in loving charity when other people are making it challenging and hard for us. There will be many reasons to choose to be reactionary and negative according to what has been given to us by others. However, if we can slow down, step back, pray, reflect, seek, and discern the will of God for us in in each situation and relationship, we will be able to find simplicity of heart and rest in Him.
Life will not always be easy, and there will be days when we are not happy, but that does not mean that it is not worth living. St. Ignatius of Loyola taught us that we need to will, seek, desire, and be content with the joy that the Lord has willed for us. This goes beyond what is apparent and appealing to us now! True joy goes beyond our desire to have things our way, constantly worrying, comparing, wanting, missing, or not happy with what we have. If we put on dark lenses and color our lives with self-centered dissatisfactions, pities, envies, and jealousies, we will always be unhappy, hence, true joy can never be sought.
True joy does not come out of nowhere; it has to be willed and grounded in something bigger than us! For us as Christians, this joy is found in the faithful and providential love of God, beyond our typical dependencies on enticing, appealing, and passing things. Furthermore, it has to be beyond what meets the eye or appeasing to our sensual, hedonistic, or egocentric desires. If we truly take the time to reflect, true joy is found from within, knowing who we are and living with contentment and finding peace in the faithful, everlasting, and never-changing love that He has for us.
That is why to discover true joy, we need to expand our horizons and look beyond the problems that are in front of us. Of course, each day has its own evils and challenges, its ups and downs, its crosses and trials, but they are not the very definition and totality of our life! Nothing in this world has the power to define and change us if we do not allow it to be definitive and dictative toward us. Thus, look back at our whole life and see the hands of God at work and how much He loves us. If we reflect on everything that we have, our past and present, our blessings and gifts, even our brokenness and struggles, we will be able to see that He is always with us and His grace is sufficient for us.
Do not live in pities, regrets, envies, and self-imposed unhappiness, but try to understand ourselves in the scope of eternity so we can choose, desire, and will to give our very own selves to others in loving God. If we offer everything we have in genuine, transparent, self-donating, and sacrificial love, He will accept and transform them into life-giving graces. Hence, enjoy the small moments of victory over sin, thoughtful expressions of love, and seek to see His caring presence in little things, then we will be able to enjoy the providential blessings that we have already been given by the One who truly wills our eternal happiness. It is perfectly fine to celebrate and give thanks for the joyful moments and grace-filled opportunities of life because they are His blessings for us. They will be needed, so that when times of trial and hardship are upon us, we will be able to recall and see His loving goodness.
In order for us to escape and free ourselves from our very own self-created egocentric hell, we need to stop comparing, pitying, and thinking that we deserve more or do not want what we want. We have to stop filling ourselves with pitiful thoughts that somehow God is not fair and that He enjoys punishing us because we do not have what we desire! He has given us the whole creation and countless blessings to bless us in our daily and lifelong journey of faith. If we can open our eyes and see the bigger reality and what we already have, we will be able to enjoy the personal, intimate, and loving expression of His care for us with perseverance, gratitude, and especially with kind service and heartfelt charity for our neighbors. This is our true joy, to know and experience in a very personal way that He truly loves us! This joy cannot be robbed from us by the things of this world, even though they will try to manipulate, lie, and tell us otherwise. Therefore, do not lose heart, stay strong, choose to love, be constant in prayer, and seek Him, and His peace will be with us and we will be joyful in Him.
I Thirst (John 19:28) with Father Khoi 