Accepting the Will of God

We all have our own particular comfort zones that we like to stay within because they give us the feeling of being in control and knowing what is in there. However, we remain inside our own center of an egocentric universe when we do not will to grow bigger ourselves. In a day and age where we have been told that self-empowerment is the most powerful and life-freeing choice that one can have, a self-centered world can be very miserable, pitiful, and toxic because we have never been truly free to live as we are called to be. The greatest liberation that we can attain is not the freedom to live as we would have liked and for things to be our way, but the true freedom to know and be who God wants us to be without fears of being judged by the opinions of this world. Accepting His will is, indeed, hard because it requires us to go outside of our very own reservations and fears in order to grow where He has nudged and led us.

A few years ago, I was asked to accept an assignment that I particularly did not care for. First, it was hard because I like to take my role seriously in caring for my parishioners and the people who are entrusted to me. After many rough starts and hurdles with my transition into the military and being in a new environment, especially having to deal with many fallouts, changes, and challenges after our civilian priest left his duty, I wanted to enjoy some type of stability. I wanted to simply be at home and not have to travel so much for training and other duties while having to deal with constant changes on top of the busy daily rhythm.

I was mentally tired and resisting anything that would remotely equate to “more” and “changes” in any conversation. So, when I received news that I was going to be assigned to support a remote location, I hesitantly did not want to accept it at first. Second, it was a place in the Arctic Circle, and I do NOT like the cold. It did not help when I began to look at the daily and average temperatures, and they were all in the negative Fahrenheit readings. Therefore, I felt all the normal human reasons to not like the assignment.

However, no matter how much I was feeling, I could not find the real reasons to say no. I knew that they were all based on my particular situations and personal likes, desires, and preferences. I never felt the real conviction to reject the request. I made the decision to pray and was struggling with coming to a personal commitment or liking. In a way, I kept putting everything on the back burner, thinking that, if it was truly His will and this was what He wanted for me, things would somehow work out. Even though I did my due diligence to make sure that the paperwork was proper and going as needed, I never put any personal investment or any extra proactiveness to make sure that it was something that I was looking forward to.

To be honest with you, I was negatively indifferent about the whole thing. Nonetheless, things just fell into place, and I found myself getting closer to the trip. As a matter of fact, I did not even take the extra effort to pack ahead. I procrastinated. Even though I did not want to fail my leadership and the other people who were depending on me to fulfill the duty, I somehow felt like I was personally and spiritually lacking. Trust me, I was on the edge of wavering back and forth because I was confused. On one side, I was praying that I would gain the zeal to accept it with true love and devotion; on the other side, I was somehow spiritually afraid and reserved in accepting His will for me.

Nonetheless, there came a time when I began to step back and go beyond my own little ruckus in order to see the bigger picture, and I began to notice how His hands were working to bring things together. He was at work, and I was humbled at how wonderfully He allowed things to come to fruition, even though I had my doubts and reservations. At that moment, I began to pray that His will be done, and I will not be an impediment to His work. I prayed that I would become His loving instrument for the people who only had a chance to see a priest TWICE a year — for Christmas and Easter.

I recognized that I was ordained as a priest in persona Christi for the Church — His people. When I allowed my fears and reservations to hold me back, I was not able to be who I truly am called to be. I was enslaved and held back by my own self-created little bubble and comfort zone. I had to die to myself in order to Him to truly be at work in and through me. When I finally understood that this particular assignment helped me to be a priest for His people, and that is what I am called to do through my own ordination and personal free will to answer His call. That particular assignment was another opportunity for me to accept His will for me and to be His presence for the people who yearned for Him. To be able to be a priest in offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and the sacraments to His people was what I was called to do, and to deny that would be running away from who I am and what gives me life!

When I was able to step back and recognize how God was at work, I was able to receive His love and really live what I am called to do. As a matter of fact, I was beginning to be afraid, but for a different reason, because I was worried about whether there were going to be obstacles that would stop me from going on the mission. I was really worried and dreading when I had to take the COVID PCR test the day before my departure. Even though I know that I am well and possess no symptoms, I was worried that somehow I was ignorant of my own well-being and was going to fail. Doubts and fears again entered, but I stepped back and prayed. I told myself, “If God had led me here this far, He will lead me to where I need to be because this is His will for me.” In all of these events, I had to learn to let go, listen, receive, and trust in His goodness instead of being enveloped in my own little world.

Each and every one of us is called by God to a life that is much bigger than our own little egocentric worlds! Faith is that very lifelong adventure in following His will for us, because it is a life of discipleship. True faith will require us to seek continual conversion, to let go of what is holding us back, to return when we have strayed away, to live out what He has called us to do in firm hope even though doubts and fears might creep in at times, and to choose to love the One who first loves us by loving one another. Accepting the will of God is hard because it requires us to let go of our very own will to be in control and to be comfortable where we are! Even though we might live our lives comfortably where we are, we remain afraid, reserved, controlled, or dictated by lesser goods or other people until we willingly humble ourselves to embark on the journey that calls us outside of our very own little world in order to trust in Him. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, do not be afraid but take the time to listen and allow God‘s will to be at work in us and through us.