Things fell apart when I was asked to lead the Military Council of Catholic Women’s European Retreat at Santiago de Compostela a few weeks ago. The Devil began to throw hiccups along the way, starting small at first, but they began to intensify as the trip got closer. I knew deep from my heart that those events were not coincidental or accidental, and even though I got frustrated at times, I was able to be at peace with the grace of God. I knew from my own life’s experiences that the evil one always likes to throw obstacles and discouragements when an important event is to happen or if it is going to yield great salvation of souls. I was praying throughout the trip and believe I have enough time now to put into words the graces that came from those blessed opportunities.
First, I had come to accept that there is a price to pay if one is seeking to do the will of God. There is suffering involved for those who are instrumental in bringing people back to Him because the Devil and his minions hate those who “steal” souls from them. Suffering for the sake of the Kingdom comes in different ways because we are being challenged, stretched, and tried when we try to become more humble, trusting, simple, childlike, and trusting in Him. Furthermore, the evil ones hate the truth and like to make life difficult for those who bring people to the truth! Therefore, one must accept the consequences of choosing Christ and letting Him be our first and foremost priority.
This one particular episode highlights how things had to fall apart to come together according to His plan. I began to lose sleep a few days ahead. There was nothing wrong physically or mentally, but I began to not sleep well. Perhaps it was the anticipation or worries… but I am used to that typical occurrence because it happens often as I prepare for a retreat or anything that might be spiritually impactful. I know that doing something that brings people back to God will have a price to pay, and I was willing and prepared myself for it. It is a “weird” anticipation of knowing that it will be good, but there will be challenges along the way as well.
To be honest, I was really looking forward to visiting Santiago de Compostela because I heard so much about it. I never walked the Camino, but heard how it had changed many people’s lives. I heard it is beautiful and should be on my priority list during my tour here in Europe. Therefore, I was mentally hyped up and spiritually looking forward to this wonderful experience! I was praying for the retreatants as well as myself so I can be a vessel of His grace and an instrument of His peace.
On the day of the trip, my bus route got delayed due to the typical London traffic, but we made it right just in time to make the next connection (because the other bus was held up by traffic as well). There was a bit of an initial delay with the flight, but it got pushed through… However, as soon as the plane was taxing toward the runway, a constant loud noise began to take over. Even though I am not a mechanic in any way, shape, or mean, I could tell that something was not right with the landing gears (from my experience being the maintenance group chaplain). I was glad the captain made the right choice to take a look at the problem, either we will take off with the landing gears not closing properly or not having them work when we land. Nonetheless, that added almost seven hours of delay to the trip as we hung out at the airport waiting for the problem to be rectified. It was a little bit frustrating not knowing when we would head out, and the airplane company was very poor in communicating with us. I took the earlier flight in order to make it in time for the team dinner, but ended up there much later than our parish group, which headed out after me.
It was a very long evening and early day as our flight arrived in the local area around 1 AM! It took a good while to get all the border crossing paperwork done since there was only one customs officer late at night. It was almost 2 AM when everyone on our flight was standing in line trying to get a taxi to town (since Uber and other rideshare services do not operate there). It took almost another two hours to get to the place where the retreat was taking place, so I got settled in my room around 3:30 AM or so. As I was trying to lie down, I received a frantic message from a parishioner about a work situation, asking me for intercessory prayer. I tried my best to calm the person down and assure them of my prayers for the situation. I was tired, so I did not sleep well, only ended up with only about 2 plus hours of rest before the next scheduled event for the retreat. It was definitely a very long day, but I was grateful that I made it… It was definitely a challenge to get to Santiago… and coffee helped!
It was a weird feeling as I walked around the town because it felt like I was here before… or at least seen these places in a dream! As a matter of fact, I dreamt about that experience a while back, remembering that I was running frantically, trying to find my way in a very new place (that I had not been to before) that looked like an ancient town. It was weird, but it began to make sense! In a very unexplainable and unique way, I began to understand that I was meant to be there. I took the time to reflect and began to see how God was connecting the dots together to get me there.
However, if you think that was the end of the hiccups… Oh, boy… that was just the first act! On the day of my actual talk, the Devil intensified his attack even more. There was a crisis at my parish, and so many people frantically messaged me trying to find a solution. Our Catholic staff team was on retreat, so no one was home to handle things except for the volunteers who were put in place to cover for us. That was the first curveball, and I tried to calm people down, come up with Plan B, and coordinate things from afar while trying to prepare for the main talk itself. Nonetheless, things did not get easier but got more intense.
Right after Mass, we found out that the regular room that was used for our presentation was double-booked for a diocesan event. We were pushed to a smaller classroom upstairs without audio and visual supports (because I had a PowerPoint presentation prepared for the talk). The coordinator was very apologetic, and I knew it stressed her out. I tried to console her and said it would work out with or without what I called “first-world amenities” because God is with us. However, one of the participants was very insistent and used her Spanish to work behind the scenes to make things happen. I was in the room prepared for my talk without the computer and projector access, but they got things going at the last minute. Thus, I knew that this was yet another obstacle put up by the Devil and his minions, but His grace ultimately prevailed.
Throughout that whole retreat, there were a few inconveniences and roadblocks along the way, but there were also many people who came to confession and wanted to talk. I knew deep within my heart that the Holy Spirit was at work, and that was why the evil ones kept throwing out obstacles to impede His transformative grace. Even though I was frustrated at times, I was never lost peace. There was an abiding and deep sense of peace because I knew this was where He wanted me to be; it was good for both my soul and for those who were there, and His grace was definitely at work! Even though there were some worrying moments but I knew that God was there and everything would be alright. True peace is not just a false understanding and expectation that things need to be perfect to be good, but to know that He is with us and we will overcome all things through perseverance, patience, courage, and humility.
I am sharing with you this one particular experience as an encouragement because I believe we often get discouraged in our faith journey, especially as we are about to make important choices that impact our lives or are able to help others. The evil ones know our desire and always like to throw in obstacles, roadblocks, and discouragements to make us lose heart and lose focus on God. That has always been and will be the tactics of the Devil and his minions! We can be frustrated, sad, and perhaps angry at times, but we must not lose hope, become negative, reactive, resentful, and let doubts creep in and cripple us from within. Life is not always filled with sunshine, favorable weather, and blessings because it naturally needs rain, storms, and trials for it to be real. We do not always want to accept that reality, but it is the truth, and we just have to do our best in order to embrace our challenges as best as we are able without losing our peace in Him. Therefore, let us not be discouraged but invite God into each and every moment to handle them with grace.
I Thirst (John 19:28) with Father Khoi 