Listening to the Good Shepherd

Listening is hard!

We struggle and often have problems with trying to truly listen to other people and be in conversation with them. Too many times, we only hear in order to say something back in return or begin to formulate our own thoughts when the other side is speaking to us. We love to speak and talk but we rarely listen! Hence, this egocentric and  “natural” humanistic mentality often leads us to be vocal and talkative but rarely listen to the voice of God in our very own lives, too. We often come to prayer times trying to talk our hearts out, telling God what we want or think that we need; nonetheless, we rarely spend time to be attentive, humble, open and listen to Him. Therefore, many of us do not know the true voice of the Good Shepherd but get inundated by so many other voices that silence His very own loving call to us. In short, we have a very big problem with listening to Him, and it has affected our personal relationship with the One who truly loves us.

When we come to prayers, do we really listen? Be honest!

Perhaps many of us come to prayers to say what we need to say and end the times short because we are too busy, worried, or preoccupied with other matters. God tends to be the One who listens to us but we rarely learn to listen to Him. We talk and complain most of the time, perhaps we will be grateful and give thanks sometimes, but we rarely spend time to slow down and just be attentive to His presence and desire to listen to what He has to say. We are impatient and controlling in our very own relationship with God, hence we become stingy, demanding, and frustrated when things do not go our way. We like to fill Him with constant complaints and demands, as well as blame and frustrations when things do not go our way, when others seem to have what we do not possess, or when we think we deserve more. We oftentimes want to dictate and control our very own relationship with the Almighty instead of allowing ourselves to be formed by Him. Sadly, but true, we like to act like we are the masters and shepherds instead of disciples and sheep of His flock.

Furthermore, we have allowed society and the people around us to tell us what we have to be in order to be loved, accepted, or successful instead of trying to listen, seek, and embrace who we are as God wants of us. Our only true peace is found when we are able to rest in His love for us! So, let us ask ourselves this honest question, “Who does God say that I am?” Do you know? Have you spent the time to really understand your theocentric identity or are you still trying too hard to create your own in the world (being everything else except your true self)?

I have seen so many people coming to me, asking how to be happy but they are not willing to let go in order to be content. They want to find true peace but they are not willing to surrender their control in order to be totally dependent on God to become what He wants of them. Too many people are too worried about having this or that thing, knowing this or that person, being affirmed or being told by this or that matter to be happy; however, we are not really happy until we let go of lesser things or people telling us what they want from us out of codependency instead of what the Almighty desires of us out of love.

To know begins with the ability to listen, be humble, honest, transparent, and vulnerable to God and with ourselves! We cannot pretend or make excuses… We can only seek to be healed, loved, and transformed as we are. We can only be who God wants of us instead of what others want. All of my life, I have found myself distraught, negative, or on the edge of being burnt out, pushed people away, and isolated myself when I cannot be honest with who I am in His eyes. I lost my ways when I was trying hard to win the favor of others, trying to be in control, or allow others to tell me who I am. Only in surrendering myself as I am — broken, imperfect, but loved by God — did I allow myself to accept love as it is instead of only focusing on how it should be. Only in radical abandonment of my petty will and desire to have things my way did I find out that His grace is enough for me!

It is wonderful to know what it means to be personally loved by God. However, it is also hard because it requires us to be transparent, honest, genuine, and open ourselves up completely to Him. Much more than sheep though, He wants our hearts — our everything! In order to love and give ourselves to God wholly and completely, we have to learn how to listen, engage, open up, and speak to Him from the heart. When we are able to do it, we will know His voice that speaks to us in our prayer times, especially when we are able to be silent and deep in contemplative conversation with Him. God‘s voice is not simply a verbal voice nor a completely mental thing. It is a voice that is very unique and particular, yet once you and I have heard it, we will never forget it! Furthermore, when we allow ourselves to be open and silent enough, God will speak, usually calling out to us using the personal “nickname” that He has for us and we share with Him. For a long period of prayer, He might speak very little, but to be in His presence is worth more than anything else. Even though He might not say anything or speak shortly, to receive and to bask ourselves in His love is more than any words can describe or any temporary, hedonistic, or quantitative thing can ever try to satisfy. He speaks and guides us each moment, we just have to learn to let go of our desire to be in control, silence ourselves from the noisiness of the world, and simply listen!

At times, too, it is very hard to follow the Good Shepherd when we are being distracted by so many things or when we are unsure if where He is leading us is where we want to be. We also get scared when the storms, obstacles, or hardships in front of us make us doubt if this is where we need to be going. It gets frustrating when we do not see Him speak or fix our problems immediately, having had to simply trust to remain where we are or, at times, go into the unknown where we have no control. Nonetheless, in the midst of all of the ups and downs of life, we are reminded that we are called to trust the Good Shepherd who loves us, knows us by name, and offers His life for His sheep. We are called to follow and be with Him even though there are better alternatives, appealing temptations, or overwhelming doubts. Love requires a lot of trust and self-giving commitment, having faith in the person who loves us, especially in the midst of uncertainties and trials. Therefore, our relationship with the One who loves us requires that we stay committed to Him even when things get hard and trials arise. That is not always easy, but it is worthwhile because those moments are moments when we grow the most personally, spiritually, and lovingly. I do not know about you, but there were numerous times when I kicked and screamed because I did not like what was going on; but for some reason, His loving grace continues to nourish me and keeps me where I am today.

Our Good Shepherd is good because He cares and knows each one of us by name. He knows us, His sheep, and He calls us. At times, too, He has to reign us back and make sure that we stay in place and not get lost. Other times, He simply has to let us go if we are too stubborn and arrogant, wanting to escape and run from Him. Therefore, it is important for us to remember that we need to embrace the relationship between our Shepherd and us. Yes, He knows each and every one of us by name, but do we know Him? Do we heed His voice when He calls us back or do we want to do our own things and stray away into our own stratosphere? Are we proud and happy to be His sheep in His flock and Him as our shepherd or do we think we deserve better?

There were moments when I wanted to leave and let go, times when I thought I could not do it anymore, instances when I thought there were better options and alternatives than what God was telling me, and choices that I thought would be better because I am in control than what was offered in accordance to the truth, divine and church teachings; but for some reasons, I could never explained why I always chose Him. I made many mistakes when I wanted to do things my way; but when I chose to do what was right and to stand by His words and teachings, to abide in His love, things always ended up where they were supposed to be. Looking back, even at times when life was trying, God kept loving and guiding me where I needed to be. Where I am today is where I need to be, even though I was so tempted to choose other options or thought I knew better. For some reason, my heart never let me reject or abandon Him… perhaps because it knows Him and wants to be in His love! Here I am, still kicking and screaming, questioning and doubting at times, but I am content with where He has led me. I am always proud to be known and be a sheep in His flock… and in a way, too, to be an assisting shepherd to His flock. I hope you can personally understand, be content, and know what it means to be loved by Him, too. May we try our best to grow, follow, and be faithful to the Good Shepherd who knows, loves, and cares for each and every one of us personally by name.

Again, ask yourself the honest question, “Who does God say that I am?” Do I really know? If I do not, am I willing to learn and seek to understand who I am in Him? We can all begin the journey of letting go and going out of our comfort zone in order to seek, understand, and embrace ourselves as we are in God. It is scary and challenging at times, but we are not alone. Do not be afraid to seek help from others around us as well, especially those who are wise in spiritual matters! All we can ever do is be honest, transparent, and humble in seeking help beyond the typical, redundant, recurring, and apparent issues that give no life nor have any substance. Let us try our best to be perfect in loving and dependent on the Almighty — one step at a time.