“In the Beginning…”

When the Lord was asked why things were permitted in the Old Testament by Moses or the authoritative voices before Him, He answered their trap by reminding them that it was not so “in the beginning.” (cf. Mark 10, Matthew 19, et al) Hidden behind such simple words are the important and foundational reminder of why our faith often gets shaken and we lose our way! We doubt God‘s goodness when we lose sight of Him and what we are called to do in loving Him. We become full of ourselves when we get too worried about making ourselves and our goals the end instead of remembering our true purpose and identity in God. We can gain the recognition of the whole world, admiration of those who are around us, the prized popular votes, or the very self-acceptance of our unrealistic standards, expectations, and demands; but if we do not know who we are, we have gained, know, or understand nothing that gives life at all. For that, we need to rise above our egocentric and worldly values to truly let go, understand, learn, and conform our lives according to what God wants of us as it was meant to be in the beginning.

If we spend our lives coveting, chasing, and desiring all these earthly matters, we will allow our hearts to be filled with nasty envy and rivalry, always discontent, which causes us to use dirty or selfish tricks like insults and other less loving means to hurt others. We can never be happy because we are always suspicious and resentful of God and others because we never feel like we have enough of what we deserve! When we condition ourselves with what makes us humanistically happy, we will end up unhappy and discontent because human happiness is only hedonistic, temporary, and not really satisfying. Nevertheless, we are much more than anything that our society tells us that we have to be. Our scope is eternal and our reward is found in God! We are happy, joyful, and content because we know who we are as children of our Heavenly Father, disciples of Jesus Christ, and instruments of the Holy Spirit in this world and for one another.

Our lives are much more than we have or do not have in the earthly or materialistic sense. Our nobility and righteousness are not of this world or the ego but in our humble, heartfelt, devoted, faith-filled, loving, and gentle confession and witness of the love of God in our lives. When we become totally dependent and are able to be content with the immense goodness and loving gifts from Him who loves us, we can, in turn, become blessings for one another. If we are able to recognize our spiritual riches in Him, we will possess the richness that this world can never destroy, steal, or take away from us!

Just like in marriage or a relationship, it is very easy for us to get ourselves so busy doing all the right things exteriorly but lose focus on nourishing and deepening our very life of faith. When we become too focused on lesser goods, hedonistic desires, or tempting gratifications, we allow them to define us and our earthly vanities. Simply put, in chasing after short-lived and passing happiness, we have lost our first and true love! This happens in our very own life of faith as well as our particular vocation. Many priests and consecrated people gave up, many marriages were broken and damaged, and many relationships ended up being abusive or unhappy because lesser goods crept in and made them lose focus on what was truly important. We walk away from what He has called us to do when we lose focus on that very first, intimate, and life-giving love that He has for us, especially what He wills for us since the beginning.

When we get too bogged down and distracted by what needs to be done, we have unjustly allowed ourselves, our loved ones, and our relationships to be defined by what we are doing and not doing instead of focusing on what we are truly called to be. When we choose to define relationships with the scale based on quantifiable productivity and benefits, we lose the real focus and life-giving invitation to give the genuine, affectionate, personal, and intimate gift of ourselves in being who we truly are. We are called to love those who are given to us even though they might not be likable at times. We are called to forgive and reconcile just as God has forgiven us. We are called to heal and transform the present failures and hurts because God‘s grace is working in and through us to heal our own failures and sins against Him. We are called to give ourselves because God has taught us how to love intimately, personally, and genuinely through the gift of Himself to us.

It is challenging to have a long-lasting and life-giving relationship in our post-modern world because we are too subconsciously tied to the consumeristic and throw-away mentality. Just as we throw away something that is broken or no longer deemed as beneficial or productive and buy a new one in our consumeristic society, it is easy to treat relationships in the same way when it is no longer good for us or our apparent, sentimental standards. We have seen — and sometimes, jealous of — old people with their friendships and marriages. They are far from being perfect as they bicker and struggle with many recurring problems. Yet, they are with one another because they meant what they said, especially when people and relationships are important to them. Unlike our post-modern throw-away culture, many grew up in hard times with little to nothing. They had to learn to be creative and appreciative of the little that they had. They do not throw away something if it is imperfect or broken but learn to fix or find the best use for it. Perhaps we can learn much from the older generations as we try to mend, reconcile, and salvage broken relationships so we can learn to love and embrace the person behind the apparent imperfections.

In all things, we have to choose Christ first and foremost. Above all things, our love has to be fixated and grounded in Him. If we are able to see and desire this relationship, we will recognize that we never run short on the things we need, and everything that is necessary for our lives has been provided for through the goodness of His infinite wisdom and divine providence. In my own life, I have learned that if God wants something, He will link all things together. If not, they are disconnected dots. It can be frustrating in times of waiting; but once He opens doors, one cannot do anything else but be in awe!

It takes a lot of silence in our hearts, honesty with ourselves, and patience to truly see lives as we are in all humility, genuineness, and transparency in front of God. Reflect on how we choose lesser things, temptations, addictions, agendas, ideologies, goods, or people before Him; how we choose to live our plans, desires, satisfactions, gratifications and needs before loving Him. Sometimes, these sins are easy to see; other times, they are deeply rooted, weaved, and hidden behind many human desires and excuses. Yet, all these sins tend to back to the seven deadly sins that often choke the life of grace and separate us from the One who desires, loves, and wants our hearts.

For those of us who have spent so much time of our lives trying to prove ourselves, and seek control or acceptance, the Lord teaches us a lesson that is hard for us to accept, learn, and undo what we have created for ourselves. We are loved by God not because we are special, smart, powerful, good-looking, exceptional, talented, or like others. We are loved by Him because He created us and knows us deep from within! The Almighty loves us in spite of our shortcomings, imperfections, limitations, and brokenness if we allow ourselves to be loved with humility, honesty, transparency, and genuineness. The hardest thing, even though it sounds so simple, is to love ourselves as we are instead of what we are trying to do, prove, think, or be for others to love us.

Therefore, in our very own prayer life, do not be afraid to keep listening, remain open, and be generous to God. When we pray, problems, fears, ideas, lies, and distractions will creep in to deter us from being focused and on track, so too, daily events and worldly worries can get us going in the wrong direction. By being honest with ourselves each day and every time we pray, we are able to be more aware of ourselves, where we are, and where we are being pulled, and humbly get back on the path He has given us and we have chosen to follow Him.

Life is unpredictable and demanding at times. As we feel overwhelmed, burdened, and tired from all the things that are going on, take the time to know when it is important to step back, reflect, and be renewed through a time of recollection, retreat, or just to snap out of the regular habits. If we cannot see ourselves beyond the ruckus or things that are going on all around us, it is important to seek help, counsel, or direction from a spiritual master, someone we can trust, or a person who is wise and prayerful in their walk with God. No matter what, do not give up on prayer times, even if we are weak or tired! Our spiritual disciplines, even at times seem insignificant and not effective, will give us unimaginable and unseen graces coming from the One who knows our hearts.