Silence is Needed

Silence is “weird” and uncomfortable for many. It is not something that we are used to doing or are comfortable with in the busy postmodern world. We are scared of silence because we are constantly being bombarded by email and social media posts, messages, and updates. Being on the move and busy all the time makes us uncomfortable at the sheer notion of doing nothing! Without much thought, many would immediately reject and dismiss the need for silence because they are too tired, and to somehow do nothing and be in silence would take away their precious time to “rest” or slow down. However, do we or have we really known how to rest or slow down, or are we too scared of not being busy, on the move, or simply doing nothing? I believe too many are simply scared because they do not know what to do with themselves, hence scared of the silence deep from within. Nonetheless, silence is so crucial, important, and much needed for each and every one of us!

First, let us recognize that silence is a novelty and luxury in our post-modern world. Second, as stated before, silence is scary because we are scared of not being in control and not knowing what to do! Third, silent prayer boggles our mind because we are so used to asking questions, worrying about what is expected or wanted from us, and do not know how to simply be present and be ourselves. In this day and age, people immediately want something from us when they reach out to us, and there is always something to do when we get together or being needed; therefore, it seems very unnatural and weird to simply be in front of someone without having to say, do, or being someone “useful” or busy. True prayer times challenge us to simply be present in His presence without having to bring a laundry list of demands, expectations, or wants, which is hard for us because this is the anti-cultural and “unnatural” mode of operation.

When many people are introduced to silent, reflective, or contemplative prayer, they get really uncomfortable at first, constantly checking the watch and getting jittery because the mind does not know what to “do” without having to do anything. People get so anxious in the beginning because it is way outside of their comfort zone of being needed or in control! Yet, to simply let go, to intentionally learn to let go and slow down, is the most freeing and liberating act that one could ever “do” by simply offering the present of being present to the Almighty. In prayer, we do not have to be in control except to let go and let His love take control and wash over us.

Perhaps exterior silence might be a little bit easier for introverts and harder for extroverts. However, interior silence is a spiritual lesson that has to be learned and a skill that has to be taught! We have to be willing to learn, as well as gently and properly guided by spiritual directors, teachers, or formators, so we are not scared or hold back by our own egocentric fears, reservations, or interior noises. Those things can be scary at first, but they are all things that need to be willingly let go and sacrificed, saying “no” to them at times in order to to say “yes” to greater things that only the Lord can show us. Personal fears and reservations can be irrationally powerful at times, and they can and will definitely hold us back because they make us feel like we are losing control if we let go of what we know! Nonetheless, each and every one of us has to humble ourselves and be willing to let go of our own self-built comfort zones in order to meet Him who is waiting for us outside of our egocentric walls.

Each and every prayer time is a letting go of our world in order to go into the desert of our very nothingness to encounter God. Of course, there will be the initial voices of our egocentric fears and reservations, as well as the Devil’s temptations and deceptions, that will try to call us back to our walled kingdom and pitiful existence. They will be very noisy in the forefront because they do not want us to let go and trust in God! That exterior and personal silence is important, but just do not stop there… continue to slow things down, seek the silence of the heart, and allow ourselves to be childlike in trusting Him who wants to spend time with us.

Saint Mother Teresa of Kolkata once said that prayer, for her, was to simply waste time with God, with her smiling at Him and Him at her! People were expecting something so profound from her, but her faith shows them the humble, simple, and childlike love of simply being present without having to “get” something back in return. As a matter of fact, there were times in her life that she did not feel God’s close presence in a human (emotional, sentimental, or even psychological) understanding, but she kept showing up, beholding Him as He beholds her! This is what prayer is all about… because it is never about our own quantifiable understanding of the “return on investment” concept, because we are called to simply be present and find rest in the One who wants to spend time with us.

A lot of people shared that they felt uncomfortable at first during a silent prayer time. When asked to share about what they “received” at the end, there seems to be a lot of silence or loss for words because it was something so different but so restful that no human expressions could explain the profound meeting ground. To pray is to come in front of God, letting go, slowing down, and allowing ourselves to receive whatever He gives! Sometimes, we will not receive anything that we think needs to be “profound” or life-changing because we just need to be childlike to rest in Him. Other times, He will speak to us in such simple words that it touches our soul deep from within that we can only hold them deep within our heart. At times, too, He will speak things that are to be shared or can be verbalized in human terms. Whatever he gives or what we are able to receive, we come with humility and simplicity of heart to be present, spend time, and be with Him… and whatever comes from those sessions, we are grateful! If nothing comes, we are still grateful because we got to spend time with the One that our souls yearn for and truly loves us beyond words and imagination.

Silence is, therefore, very important and needed for our human journey. That is why, in recent times, yoga and many self-centered meditation styles have been emphasized and introduced to the general public! Even though they are good in the beginning, they remain very dependent on our natural, humanistic, and egocentric sense of control. They can help people seek a certain type of human mindfulness and restfulness, but they can never give us anything that is deeper, supernatural, and eternal because they are only found in God. Instead of depending on ourselves to be the central figure and controller of everything, true spiritual restfulness asks us to humble ourselves, let go, and let God speak peace into us. Instead of having things be beneficial or enticing to us on our egocentric understanding, limitations, expectations, and terms, we allow ourselves to step back and be childlike so that He is in control, and we are simply content because we can spend time with Him. True prayers help us to really be mindful of who we are deep from within and to be fine with not being in control, simply allowing the One who loves us to be present, and that is enough!

Simply put, silence is counter-cultural, hard, challenging, and humbling for us as busy post-modern people. It is often ignored and dismissed because it seems not to be important! Nonetheless, without exterior silence, we simply remain chatterbots, run our mouths, talk about others, but remain vain, pitiful, and empty deep from within because we really have no depth or substance. Furthermore, without interior silence through prayerful time spent with God, we really have nothing to offer or give to others. Therefore, what seems to be uncomfortable and unnatural in the beginning has to be learned, willed, and desired through humility, sincerity, and simplicity of heart so we can be childlike in spending time with Him who loves us. Once we are able to spend time and be fine in wasting time with Him, we are able to know that being present and spending time in silence with Him is enough, because our souls know that we need those moments. Without a doubt, silence is needed and I hope we can all find time to spend silent time and prayerful moments with the One who there waiting to spend time with us.