I wrote a reflection a while back on why I am a priest… Thus, in a similar and imperfect way, I want to share with you why I am a military chaplain. This is dedicated to all airmen, guardians, soldiers, sailors, and marines and families that I have the honor to know and serve.
A Catholic military member once asked me what our duty identifier patch, “HC,” stands for! When I said, “Headquarters Chaplain,” he replied, “I thought it stands for Honorary Commander because you would be advising those who are in command to choose and do the honorable things.” I was surprised because I never thought of it that way…
Of course, as chaplains, we cannot take command like ordinary line officers; however, we have the duty to provide spiritual care, pastoral counseling, and advise senior leaders on the morale and well-being of airmen, as well as ethical, moral, and religious matters. Even though those are what the U.S. Air Force expected of us, not every leader wants to hear or be advised by us… Over and over again, I had to advise senior leaders on things that they should be doing, even though it might not always be the most popular perspective or what they want to hear. It might go to deaf ears, but we as chaplains must have the courage to say what is important and needed so those who are in charge get beyond their mission-first, objectively intellectual, and metric-based mindset to understand their troops’ quality of life, struggles, and wellbeing measures.
It is too easy to ask, “Can we get this mission done?” The answer can simply be, “Of course!” Nonetheless, that short answer can quickly be given by those who want to win the approval of their leaders or want to make a name for themselves (at the cost of others). If we really want to know the real answer, then there is a caveat: “Of course, we can get the mission done… But at what costs!?!?” Chaplains are called to help those who make important decisions be not only mission-first-and-only leaders, but also to be the ones who are able to say: “Mission first; people always!” We are called to be that voice so leaders can see and be considerate of their people in light of the necessary decision process, demanding mission set, and high operational tempo.
When I was deployed a while back, I got to know a Catholic member who was involved in personnel recovery and combat rescue missions for our whole joint area of responsibility. I went through some training with them so I could be the chaplain they seek for advice and utilize when the need arises. At the end of the training, he gave me a patch of the special combat search and rescue operators. For those who know, it depicts an angel embracing the world at large, with the words, “That Others May Live” on the bottom. He told me something that I still remember today, “Father, we made the promise to place our duties before personal desires and comforts, executing the mission that is asked of us quickly and efficiently to save life and aid the injured. We often tell ourselves that these are the things we must do that others may live… but we cannot do this alone… because we are still humans, so we need you! By walking with us as a priest and as a chaplain, you listen to the stories that we cannot share with anyone else, reconcile us with God, and bring us the sacraments. In a way, you and all the priests are the unknown spiritual rescuers because of the things you do behind the scenes, so others like us may spiritually live and carry on with life!”
One time, I can still remember the tense pressures, lost looks, and confused stares when I arrived on scene. Mental health professionals were not there, and they were told that the mental health team is not the first responders. A nurse looked at me with a whispering voice, “Chaplain… Please do something!” I took a deep breath, prayed silently, knocked on the door, and said, “Chaplain here… I know you are distressed. I just want you to know that I am here, and I would like to be with you. You are not alone…” It took a few moments before I was permitted to enter, and it was an emotionally tiring and long day, but it was providential.
In a similar environment, I remembered being called in the last days of a mission by a senior leader to provide the Last Rites to a dying member who was identified as a Catholic through their dog tag. The ride to the location was hard because there were still a lot of raw emotions from the team members! Some were just mad, a few were visibly sad and distraught, and some were just at a loss for words as they were dealing with the overwhelming shock. I just sat there to observe and listen. When we reached the location, we had to persistently push ourselves into the location so I could give the Last Rites. As I was going through the different rites prescribed by the Church, I could see many were trying to hold back their tears and keep themselves composed. Once I was finished, the leader thanked me for providing what was important for the family: “Now, I can honestly tell the mom that we did our best to do what she asked of us… Thanks, Chap.” Even though they might not be Catholics or even have faith, they were there to spiritually support a teammate. The ride back was a little bit more talkative as they opened up about their memories with the person. Like earlier, I did not have to do anything much… I simply listened…
Taking care of people comes in different ways. There were occasions when I got called by medical professionals and first responders because they felt helpless in dealing with hard cases. Some circumstances led me to de-escalate and help someone who locked themselves in confined places or was in a dangerous state of mind. There were times they threatened to hurt others or take their own lives if anyone tried to intervene.
Some people came to me, already given up all hope, had a plan to end it all, but somehow said, “I don’t know why I’m here…” Those were long, hard, emotionally draining, but grace-filled conversations. Sometimes, I got called to take care of the first responders when they had to deal with overwhelming and traumatic situations. There were definitely times when our team was constantly hit with tragedies, so we just leaned on each other and worked together to help unit members heal after the unexpected losses of their colleagues.
Many times, we just have to learn to be flexible in letting go of our plans to make time for others, especially when we least expect a call. I remembered those times visiting someone or a family who was in the emergency room, all alone, lost, and did not know what to do, even though those moments were supposed to be spent with family and friends for the joyful holiday celebrations. There were numerous times when I sat with someone who just kicked out of their house, processing with a person after they met their lawyer or received their disciplinary action, or when they were in confinement for what they had done. Sometimes, all I can do is allow people to cry after they find out their partners cheated on them or left them for someone else. Other times, I am just doing my best to understand and help a person overcome their personal distress and messiness.
However, not every case is a traumatic or high-stress situation! One of those joyful occasions happened early in my military chaplaincy as we brought the Archbishop to our northernmost base in the world so he could confirm an airman that we formed remotely using an online platform. The other was to give the Sacraments of Initiation to a Canadian Armed Forces member on deployment after a few months of formation. It was a bit tricky since I do not have jurisdiction over him, so it took some time to gain permission from the Canadian Military Ordinariate (since he came to the faith on deployment and desired to receive the sacraments before going back home), but it was worth all the hurdles!
There are so many wonderful things we get to do as priests, like blessings of dorms and homes, vehicles and planes, as well as baptisms and weddings outside of our usual scheduled Masses, religious education classes, and parish events. We also get to accompany people who are struggling with their faith, marital or relationship issues, or receive spiritual guidance for their everyday journey. The marriage preparation process itself is a little more complicated than a civilian parish setting because people are oftentimes far from one another or had previous relationship issues that could hinder the timeline. It can get messy at times, especially for those who fallen out of faith for a long time and want to return to the sacraments; certain things will need to be reconciled and rectified first. It can get discouraging at times when they do not (initially) understand WHY the Church is too “strict” regarding marriage, canonical, or sacramental issues. It can get tiring and discouraging for me, too, because I do want to help people, but some people are not ready to be committed to the life of discipleship and only want quick solutions. However, being with people and helping them through their different seasons in life is one of the most awesome opportunities we have as priests, pastors, shepherds, and spiritual fathers!
Even in my everyday duties, I get to listen, be present, and accompany people who have no one else to turn to… not because they are religious or because they are Catholics, but because I am a chaplain and we are the only ones who have 100% confidential and privileged communication. I have the honor to be with them as they unveil their deepest secrets, darkest moments, hardest bearings of pain and suffering, and loneliest of times. I might not always agree with their lifestyle or choices, but I am privileged to be there in their darkest days and hardest trials. I might not have all the answers or give them desirable solutions, but they will know that I genuinely care for them, that they are never alone, and I will never abandon them!
I still remember the first time I had to go to Washington, D.C., to do my interview with the Archbishop and endorsement paperwork with the Archdiocese for Military Services. Our chancellor at the time sat me down and looked at me solemnly before cracking a smile to talk. He asked why I wanted to be a military priest and chaplain. After hearing my explanation, he said, “Father, you’ll be given a rank, but that really means nothing to your priesthood. The officer epaulets are worn on the shoulders to remind you of the weighted responsibilities and duties of the rank, but it’s the cross insignia over your heart that serves as a sign and reminder of Who is guiding you! Be a good priest and don’t get caught up with the rest.” His words still resonate in my heart today. They have helped me to endure many discouragements, especially when the military often does not see or understand what we do as priests, and when I see other priests and chaplains forget who they are and spend so much time chasing after vain glories.
I might not be physically fit and nowhere in the same league as special operators, who have to be the ones tasked with those unimaginably hard missions, but I am honored to be spiritually present when people want to give up on life, pastorally care for the injured, and make hard choices at times to do the things we are called and must do so that others may have life. It is not always easy, nor do I like what is asked of me every day in the administrative, bureaucratic, and military world, but I choose to endure them because they afford me the opportunity to be a Catholic priest and chaplain! I do not know what the Lord has in mind for me and how long I can serve, especially as I get older, my joints hurt, and my body is not in top shape, but I am grateful for the journey. As stated in many ways and many times in the past, it has always been my desire to repay America for what she has given me by serving those who serve. I am not physically perfect, but I will always work hard, make necessary choices, and be intentional in being present for those who are struggling, forgotten, pushed out, given up hope, or have no one to turn to, so they know that they are never alone!
Indeed, I am blessed to have those wonderful opportunities, as well as the hard things we must do so that others may live spiritually and eternally…
— Books
— Why I am a Military Chaplain
— I Thirst (John 19:28) Spiritual Reflections
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viet nam | united states of america | kansas | texas | congregation of the most holy redeemer | diocese of fort worth | archdiocese for the military services | united states air and space forces | english – español – tiếng việt | may 22 – june 29 | holy trinity seminary | st. mary’s seminary | ba – gcsf – ma – mdiv – stb | university of dallas – creighton university – university of st. thomas – st. mary’s seminary and university
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