We talk much about resiliency in the military. Perhaps we have talked so much about it that it has become a buzzword for some. People might hear it, but they simply hear it without being really connected, drawing life, and being able to receive some meaning from it. So, let us go back to the root of what it means to be resilient in order to remind ourselves of what it really means!
First, the word resiliency means the ability to withstand or recover quickly from adversity, difficulty, or challenge. It can also be used to describe an object or subject’s ability to spring back into the original shape or structure after being put to the stress test. So, let us go talk about the first set of definitions… I do like the word withstand, though! I believe that, in order to withstand a challenging situation, relationship, or person, we have to have the ability to stand with(in) the current reality.
So, what does that mean? When we break down the word withstand, we end up with two smaller words, “with” and “stand,” which reminds us to be present, invested, and mindful of what is going on in the present moment instead of what or how we would like for things to be. Second, we have to be able to stand straight, heads on our shoulders, and be present to endure whatever life may throw at us. I believe, too many times, we have allowed ourselves to enter into a situation, especially one that we do not desire or particularly like, with a neatened-down, pessimistic, and pitiful outlook.
I have seen this in a lot of our younger generation and people! They oftentimes are being told by social media influencers, celebrities, and so-called life coaches to be the best version of themselves, to reach for the stars, and do whatever they like to be because they have the ability to do so, since it is their lives to live as whatever they like to be. That all sounds nice, empowering, and positive, but that is far from the truth because life is not always perfect or as we would have liked for it to be! Too many get depressed, sad, and anxious, and become locked up in their own self-created version of pity. They disconnect themselves from other people and lock themselves up in their own hellish existence… and darkness envelopes them, and that spiral down really fast, too.
As a matter of fact, I have seen this a lot as a military chaplain, especially in remote locations and hardship duty stations. Heck, I even see this when they begin tech school training, too! I get it… We all tend to think that we deserve better, especially if we have worked hard for something. We tend to think that we should be treated better, able to belong and do “better” and “greater” things in the world than to do something that is meager, unnoticeable, and less dignified than what we think we deserve to be. Nonetheless, it is this egocentric mentality that has destroyed our society, well-being, and resiliency deep from within because too many think that they deserve better without knowing, understanding, withstanding, and embracing life’s ups and downs, its challenges, and blessings, in each and every day and small moments.
Hence, in order to withstand the different challenges and stages of life, it is important to understand who we are. Not only do we have to stand straight and be real, pragmatic, and present with the current reality, but we also have to be able to understand who we are deep within. Not only do we have to stand with, but we also have to stand underneath the normal ups and downs to dig deep and draw life from within. True resiliency helps us to find our self-worth, identity, mission, and purpose that is hidden deep within our very own selves as His sons and daughters. Too oftentimes, we have lost our focus and allow ourselves to be told by the world who we should be; hence, that manifests itself in how we judge our self-worth, purpose, and identity as people who need to do something, be somewhere, or get some type of special privilege in order to stand out from the rest of the people.
We cannot withstand social pressures and our own self-created pities, thinking that we need to do “more” and be “better” than where we are now. There are times when those feelings are valid; but most of the time, I believe we seem to have missed the opportunities to stand strong and face reality as it truly is. Our lives will become miserable, our attitudes become resentful and overbearing, and our outlook on reality will become pessimistic and darkened when we remove ourselves from reality. These things happen when we daydream, pity ourselves, or think that we should not be where we are. Not everyone can live as they would have liked or get everything that they want in life… Life is not always fair, just, and perfect… and that is just the reality of the world!
If we are not able to stand with reality and its imperfections, we cannot withstand the pressures, trials, sufferings, and hardships that go along with it. If we do not stand underneath the emotional ups and downs to know who we are beyond what is right in front of us, we will never be able to understand our true self-worth, dignity, and purpose beyond the temporary achievements, glories, vanities, and passing things that come and go with life.
Not everything will be perfect, and we will never get what we want all the time; therefore, let us find meaning and purpose in the present moment. I believe we all have the opportunity to be grateful and count our blessings instead of what we think we want, need, like, or desire to possess or be like others. If we cannot see the opportunity to sanctify our days, we will let ourselves be held back by sad repetitions and redundancies without meaningful engagement and transformation of the truth with His light of grace. It is hard, and we are our own worst enemies at times, too, but we have to remember that we are much more than our never-ending desires to have “more” things, achievements, successes, or other vanities in order to be loved by God.
As a matter of fact, the Servant of God Cardinal Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan once said that one act, in perfect unity and total love for the Lord, is enough to make us into a saint. He reminded us a lot about living the present moment to the fullest, discerning God‘s will, and loving Him instead of what we think needs to happen with our works so that we can become prayerful people who seek His loving presence. What we have received as sacramental grace from the life of worship and prayer becomes our source of strength, wisdom, joy, and peace so that the world cannot manipulate, deter, lie, or bring us under its yoke of popular opinions, vocality, and ever-changing moods and trends.
On the other hand, if we know who we are and remain faithful to our mission as children of God our Father, disciples of Christ Jesus, and instruments of the Holy Spirit, we will become powerful testimonies and witnesses that point others to the love of higher, transcendental, eternal, and everlasting truth. It is in His loving peace that we can instill purpose and meaning into our everyday life and its ups and downs. We are able to find newness and blessings, even in our redundancies and repetitions, because we are sanctified and renewed by the Holy Spirit who guides us. It is He who is able to help us see, appreciate, understand, and withstand all things in order to serve, love, and remain faithful to who we are deep from within.
Therefore, let us be resilient, persevere, remaining faithful to our God-centered purpose and mission so that we can find meaning, instill joy, and sanctify our works. There are so many hopeless and joyless people who are in need of our little light; therefore, let us not lose track of what we are doing but be able to find resiliency in order to understand and withstand all of life’s teachable lessons and their challenges. Let us persevere and remain faithful to our calling until the end of our journey!