There are many beautiful gifts that I have received from my Vietnamese culture, and they have enriched me as a Catholic and priest. Nonetheless, there are certain elements that I wish people would look more deeply into and desire something that is more substantial than what meets the eye. I believe that as we have become more globalized, interconnected, and technology-driven, we have also become impoverished in our search for truth as well as our genuine desire to mature and deepen our faith because we have bought into what is immediately gratifying and appealing to the masses. Perhaps, for better or worse, we have allowed ourselves to grow without roots.
To be honest with you, many people asked me how much money I get paid as a military chaplain: “Don’t lie because we know you get paid according to your rank and time in service!” Some priests asked me similar questions, too, as if my pay and how much money I make were supposed to make me happier and somehow better than I did as a parish priest. I had a Catholic commander ask me what I do with my money since I do not have a family to worry about. As a diocesan priest, I would not have to worry about sending money back to a religious community. I am often saddened by those questions because those materialistic things do not intrigue or motivate me. It is not to say that I am not grateful for the opportunity to enjoy nicer things or treat myself once in a while; having “more” money and wealth in the eyes of the world does not make me happy in any sense! On the contrary, I follow a very strict monthly budget that I have prayed about. I learned about this way of life when I was still a seminarian…
One of my priest-mentors gave me a box of stewardship envelopes at the first meeting, and he told me, “Welcome to the parish. I have registered you as a parishioner. Here are your contribution opportunities. If we are to preach stewardship, we have to first live it ourselves; else no one would believe us!” Those words have stuck with me ever since, and I try my best to pray about how I give back to my parish, community, and the Church as a priest. I have a monthly budget of what I think I need to spend each month. I prioritize my spending according to the descending order of priorities, with charitable and stewardship contributions first.
I often joke that even though I do not have a family to feed, I have many children and the elderly destitute that I try to support through the Missionaries of Christ’s Charity. They are my joy because I know that God has given me a family — the Church — to belong to, and the Sacred Scriptures have taught us to take care of the parts of the Mystical Body of Christ that are the weakest and in the most need. I know that there are a lot of charitable organizations out there, but I choose to give my most to the sisters because I have worked with them and trust them in how they genuinely care for the poorest of the poor according to the charism given to them by Mother Teresa of Kolkata. The greatest gift that we can give to others depends on how much we have prayed and responded to His generosity that has first been given to us! If we, especially as priests, only worry about money, wealth, glory, power, prestige, and success, we will not be able to preach the Gospel and be free to live in persona Christi.
However, that is not to say that I do not struggle in trying to keep myself straight and focused on the necessity instead of purchasing things that I want. Therefore, I try my best to have a cleaning day when I search the nooks and crannies of my dwelling in order to see the things that I can let go of in order not to overwhelm myself with more stuff. I try to live in a small place, so I do not have to fill it with things that I do not need, because everything that is there has to make sense, or else the walls come in closer when I have more stuff. I know my weaknesses, and that is why I have to pray, discern, and put into practice the things that seem to be easily pursued, purchased, or attained that are not good or necessary for my own state of life. Hence, our leftovers and extras can then become opportunities for us to bless others or participate in greater efforts to care for our brothers and sisters who have little to nothing. Think about it… We can never take any of the things we possess when we leave this earth, so it is important that we give, share, and leave what is appropriate because the good Lord knows our intentions and He sees our desires.
The search for truth and the things that are eternal has to be the central part of our Christian journey and the foundation of our desire as believers! If we give up our desire for the truth and matters that come from God, we will end up becoming rootless and spineless because we become people who are easily swayed by popular opinions, pressures, trends, and hearsay instead of what pertains and gives us life. If we never spend time to pray, reflect, and read up about the teachings of our faith and what the wise saints have written, we will surely end up scrolling through short videos, sound bites, clickbait articles, and manipulated versions of the news that only exist to incur sensationalistic reactions. We argue that we have become more pragmatic and practical as post-modern people, but we have nothing more than become objectified means and chess pieces in the game of a manipulative rat race for influence, power, recognition, and other worldly means.
We see this vain, joyless, and hopeless culture and way of life in how much time and effort people spend on things that occupy their minds, keep them busy and on the move, and make them reactionary and attracted to what is in front of them or being fed to them at the moment. Sadly, all those sensationalistic reactions are only easy, apparent, and obvious facades of the deeper resentment, anger, and frustration that are caused by not knowing who we are and where we are going. It is easier to react and talk about the things that do not matter than to take the time to focus, reflect, search, and understand matters of the heart, mind, and soul.
Ultimately, I believe we end up with people who are spiritually immature and childish because they do not know who they are, like to blame others, instigate and talk about useless things instead of taking time to search for the truth of who they are, the person they are called to be, and where they are going. It is hard to be mature, reflective, calm, able to discern and seek the presence of God, and level-headed but also have, at the same time, a childlike faith to trust in God instead of being childishly controlling, reactionary, and constantly throwing tantrums when we do not get what we want! It seems contradictory at first, but paradoxically, childlikeness is required to achieve greater maturity in our very own life of faith.
We cannot and are not called to change the whole world or to become who we are not. We cannot think that somehow things will be better through politics, ideological, social changes, or revolutions. Those things really do not leave lasting results because they do not affect and change the hearts of people. If we really want our society and the world at large to be genuinely loving, caring, respecting, defending, and treasuring life from the moment of conception until natural death, from each and every person of every stage of life, we should choose to invest our time, give ourselves, and choose to love in personal, intimate, and loving ways because real change begins with us.
When we really know who we are and are able to live in freedom as children of God, we are able to keep our attention on what is truly life-giving, deter from empty promises and vain glories, come back to the Lord if we get distracted or lose our attention, and able to purify, transform, and detach ourselves from the hopeless lies of this passing world. The life of discipleship and pursuit of the truth is not something we would naturally want to seek because the allurements and temptations of this world are real; therefore, we have to personally choose to discipline, conform, and be changed by His loving grace. We have to choose to open ourselves up to His loving grace deep from within, finding the opportunities to rest, pray, reflect, pray, discern, and receive Him in silence, docility, transparency, and genuineness of heart. Only when we order our lives in His truth can true peace come and gives us rest deep from within the innermost being, the most intimate and loving heart of heart, the meeting ground of our soul with God who loved us into being and the One who we truly desire.
Over and over again, spiritual masters reminded us that the hardest part of the spiritual journey and real growth comes when we die to ourselves, are humble, and are willing to be conformed to His will through proper discernment. Therefore, let us not lose heart but try our best to choose and desire holiness, the truth, and to love God above all things each and every day. There will be days when we are weak, when we fail or lose heart, but no matter what, let us seek, desire, and give our lives to Him totally and completely. Truly, to love Him, to be loved by Him, to embrace His commandments, and live in His eternal truths are our mission, purpose, and self-worth. So, I am asking you to take some time to see what occupies your life at the moment. I would like you to reflect on what you can cut back on (matters of this world) and increase (eternal and spiritual matters) in order to simplify and keep your life more focused on the things that really matter!